Thursday, January 10, 2002

YakYakYak strikes back!>>>

Were back. Lets see what 2002 has in store for us........

Email us your news>>> crazynewsshit@yakyakyak.com

Thursday, December 20, 2001

STOP PRESS>>>

In the interests of public safety YakYakYak news WILL NOT be publishing over the christmas break.

However we will resume broadcasting on the 7th january, that is if we make it through the festivities.

So in the mean time if you see or hear something which might be of interest to YakYakYak dont forget to let us know.

Email us your news>>> crazynewsshit@yakyakyak.com

Wednesday, December 5, 2001

another YakYakYak exclusive>>>

Leading tomato ketchup based food manufactor Heinz released their annual sales report this morning which highlighted rumours that one of their newest products, "Bin Laden Pasta shapes", has topped the sales chart.

Hundreds of thousands of the tins of terrorist shaped pasta curls have been sold recently, the majority of them have been sold to the US Forces for the men and women in the middle east.

The nutritional carbohydrate based meal provides almost a third of an adult males need for Vitamin A and Riboflavin, an ingredient essential for healthy teeth and bones. A spokesperson for Heinz supplied us with the forthcoming advertising campign slogan - "Your chance to take a chunk out of Bin Laden"

The gun weilding pasta twirls are now Heinz' 58th Variety

What tasty pasta based snack do you want to see on the shelves??? Email us your veiws>>> tastypastabasedsnacks@yakyakyak.com

Monday, December 3, 2001

YakYakYak reader provides a solution!!>>>

A YakYakYak reader today defied both logic and the laws of Rainbow by providing a solution to Zippys most recent dilemma - Dannis tits VS Kylies arse. The reader who cannot be named for legal reasons has provided us with a prototype photograph of the biggest scientific breakthrough in cloning history, which he claims to have made on his Gameboy advance

It is hoped that production models will be available for sale by the year 2194AD just before the nuclear fallout.

Is semi ass/tits cloning inhumane or is it just a bit of fun??? Email us your veiws>>> nicearseandtits@yakyakyak.com

Wednesday, November 14, 2001

Zippy contacts YakYakYak news>>>

Cult 70's TV star Zippy contacted YakYakYak news last week in hope that he would be able to reach out to all of YakYakYak's readers and gain some help with his latest dilemma - Danni's tits or Kylie's arse.

So dont delay, VOTE NOW!!

You can email zippy with your veiws by clicking here>>> zippystits&arsedebate@yakyakyak.com

Tuesday, November 13, 2001

YakYakYak provide a Yak exclusive!!>>>>>

It was today agreed by the EU that all european mountain Yaks should carry an EU approved barcode.

Unfortuantly no one from the EU Commission for Yaks could tell us why this might be.

Monday, November 12, 2001

Tens of London commuters made late for work>>>>>

The 8:08 Baguette from West Harrow to Amersham was 15 minutes late this morning resulting in literally tens of people late for work.

A senior Baguette Travel official commented "we had a problem with the oven last night which resulted in one late baguette" To which our YakYakYak reporter replied "What the fuck???!?"

Wednesday, October 31, 2001

YakYakYak celebrity showdown

Boddingtons Cow vs MrT - who is the daftest cow????

Tuesday, October 30, 2001

EXCLUSIVE>>>>

Whilst shaving on Tuesday morning a large forest toad managed to slice his entire bottom lip off in a freak accident.

The toad is said to be croaky but stable.

Sunday, October 21, 2001

NEWS JUST IN>>>>

The US have employed a group of large monkeys in there fight against Bin Ladens group. Operation Chimpanzee is set to the first of its kind and is set to be a sucsess following on from recent missions by the US.

Operation Chimpanzee officials have made no comments yet as to the levels of expertise the monkeys might impose on Bin Ladens operations in the middle east.

Saturday, October 20, 2001

ONLY AT YakYakYak do we bring you exclusives like these!!>>>>

The bastard love child of Batman and the Hulk have spoke exclusivly to YakYakYak news this week. Also at the interveiw was the offspring of Superman and Spidermans 8 year affair.

The incredible Bat said "Its been hard for me, being brought up by a superhero - especially when I look like this"

SuperSpider commented that he understands what the Incredible Bat has been through and a support group has been set up especially for superhereos in this situation. He said "the group is called Deformed Famous Superheroes and they can help during tough times"

Friday, October 19, 2001

YakYakYak Exclusive - huge, obese hedgeghog in orbit>>>>

A large hedgehog, or echidna, as it is know in the wild has been spotted orbiting earth. Although the spiky mammal poses no immeadiate threat, plans are now being made to coax the hedgehog out of orbit by placing a large saucer of milk and an empty shoe box on the moon in the hope that it will curl up and hibernate.

A NASA employee said "this will be the biggest project NASA has worked on involving a show box of this size."

The mission is expected to cost in excess of $185,000,000,000,000 of taxpayers money.

YakYakYak did U know?>>>>

The yak is a real animal? i didnt until today. how interesting.

Wednesday, October 17, 2001

NEWS JUST IN>>> a british northerner, from the north of britain was quite literally startled by a squadron of lost american jets.

After being interviewed by YakYakYak News he said that he was "from the north" and "im quite startled"

Tuesday, October 16, 2001

 
a glitch in the Matrix??>>> cult TV classics zippy, bungle and george have been spotted "in the matrix".

witnesses say zippy is responsible

 
here at YakYakYak news we cleaned out our internet cookies folders today and found these in them. its a big cookie

 
EXCLUSIVE STORY>>> official US baseball players defeat giant flying hedgehogs sent from the middle east.

World series player Todd said 'Im glad i had laser vision'

Monday, October 15, 2001

 
JamiE vs MrT
- who will pity the fool the most?.........yak

 
BREAKING NEWS>>>>>>> penguins allies join in the crusade - here come the herds of giant marmite ridden polar bears...

 
STOP PRESS>>news just in.
Giant US penguins with laser eyes attack war elephants throughout the middle east. full update soon!

 
LIVE FROM A REMOTE WELSH VILLAGE>>> a goat has been spotted wearing a hat.